It’s not Thursday – it’s Senior Discount Day
The heck with Hump-day.
Thursday has never gotten its just due. It’s jammed right in between Hump-day and Friday. No day could ever rival the one that kicks off the weekend. When I was growing up, the news guy on an a.m. rock station in Milwaukee used to declare, “IT’S FRIDAY – HIGH DAY – PARTY TIME IN THE BREW CITY!!!
How can poor old Thursday compete with that?
Let me tell ya! A Thursday may only be a Thursday to you, but to me, and countless other discount-grubbing geezers in the greater Cedarburg area, it’s Senior Discount Day at Piggly Wiggly! Everyone who is 62 and above gets a 5% discount on everything in the store. Every. Thing. That includes Buffalo Trace bourbon and Tito’s Vodka. It includes cottage cheese and skim milk, too, but who cares? As the ad says, it’s “Another reason to Dig the Pig!”
For those of you not in the know, Piggly Wiggly is a grocery store, part of the Piggly Wiggly chain. Locals lovingly refer to it as “the Pig.” There’s something magical about picking up pork chops at the Pig.
For the past few years, I avoided shopping at the Pig like the plague on Thursdays whenever possible. Instead of Senior Discount Day, I shopped the Pig ADBT – Any Day but Thursday.
The only shopping carts that moved fast on Thursdays were those automatic carts with big baskets. The people driving around those carts are absolutely insane. They make up for their usual shuffling pace by zooming around corners without warning. Those mobile death traps should have blinkers.
On Thursdays, cruising through produce for a few bananas is an impossibility. The amount of Sunday shopping cart drivers moseying along on a Thursday would induce aisle angst, the grocery store equivalent of road rage.
The restrooms would be jammed. Locked. Occupied. For a loooong time. If I ever wound up at the Pig by some unforeseen emergency (like running out of Cedar Crest Coconut Explosion ice cream) on Senior Discount Day, I sure as heck couldn’t go to the bathroom. Plan ahead!
A fifteen-minute jaunt for some Jell-O would be easily stretched into an eternity. Or at least twenty minutes.
There is another reason I avoided Thursdays at the Pig as I got older. When I finally made it to the checkout line, the checker-outer would say to me, “Are you eligible for any OTHER discounts?” Then they’d nod their heads at the Senior discount sign. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. I’d force a smile and say, “Not quite.” Or “Not yet.” Or “I’ll get there soon.”
It was almost as bad as when the checker-outer is under twenty-one when I would occasionally have a six-pack in my cart. They raise their hand and wave, “Alcohol check on aisle 4!”
Thursday has become thrilling. Now, I get to join the other oldsters in a weekly celebration of savings. That jar of Smucker’s Crunchy Peanut Butter that I love won’t set me back $4.99 today – no sirrreee Bob! On any Thursday, I can get it for 24.9 cents less – or $4.74! I love saving almost a quarter on my Smucker’s, but I do indeed hate math.
And yes, that is Smucker’s Peanut Butter – not jam or jelly. They make a helluva a peanut butter that puts Skippy to shame.
When I hit the checkout lane on the first Thursday that I qualified, I raised my hands in exultation, did a victory dance, and gleefully waved my driver’s license in the air for all to see.
My curiosity got the best of me, and I had to ask the cashier if Thursdays were busier because of the Senior Savers. The cashier, who spoke with me only on the condition of anonymity said, “On Thursday mornings, we’ve got regulars who line up outside the store before it opens.”
I said, “You’re kidding.”
The incognito cashier said, “No.”
If the discount diehards don’t show up in line by 6:15 a.m. the day before Friday, you better check the obits.
I asked Ryan Olsen, the 2nd generation owner of “the Pig” in Cedarburg. He said his parents, Barbara and Layton Olsen, started the 5% Senior Discount Day to attract seniors into the store, and it is also a way to say thank you to many loyal, long-time customers. Ryan has extended this glorious discount to a second Pig store in nearby Mequon that he purchased and refurbished.
I could go on all day, but it’s Thursday, and I gotta get to the Pig’s produce section before all that’s left are hard, green bananas.
This made me chuckle. Brought back fond memories of Piggly Wiggly. I remember going as a child and thinking it was so fun. I mean, who doesn't want to shop at a place with a funny looking smiling pig.
I have suffered the curse of social media and small town bubble. A few weeks ago, I was shopping "The Pig" on a Thursday morning and at the checkout I was asked "Any other discounts?". Across the checkout isles it became known to everyone in the store I qualified for the "Seinor Discount" as a cashier announced that she saw on Facebook I had recently turned 62.